Hey all! So this is gonna be a shorter post today. It’s also not going to be written by me! In honor of Father’s Day, the next 3 part series of Thursday posts will be written by…. DADKRO!
Well… Let me amend that.
These posts WERE written by DadKro.
Back in the MySpace days (oh boy, remember that?), there was a blog post type option. I forget what it was called. Most of us used it to do those stupid “Answer these 30 questions and tag your friends” things, but DadKro used it as his own personal blog a few times. 
A place where scene kids could be scene kids, and our first friend was some weird grinning dude.
His 3-part “Wii” saga about his experience with video games growing up compared to my own. I find DadKro’s style of writing to be very funny (and also similar to mine), and his moments of introspection are actually pretty entertaining. It was silly to read as a 13 year old because my dad was talking about video games (and adults DID NOT play video games, duh) but also talking about me. However, now that I’ve grown up a bit, it is actually really interesting to see his thoughts about raising a video game obsessed kid when he honestly couldn’t have cared less about them.
This post was created on April 25th, 2007. The Nintendo Wii was brand new and had finally come out of the crazed holiday rush where literally NO ONE could find one. So remember that if it seems very dated, it’s because it’s over a decade old. All the main writing from here on out will be from DadKro’s hunt and peck fingers (seriously, I hate watching him type). All pictures and captions are added by me.
So sit back and enjoy… DadKro’s “Wii” saga, part 1… Wii Man.
Hop into my (not poorly made in paint) DeLorean time machine!
For those of you who don’t know me or are confused by my boyish looks and “joie de vie”, I am not a baby boomer or a gen xer. This puts me in the awkward place of being around video games since their inception, but not really giving a shit about them (until now). Let me give you a brief history.
The 1970’s..
Seen here: 70s
Pott’s Doggie Shop (motto: You haven’t really burped ’til you’ve had our chili cheese dog!) in Nazareth Pa. (18064)(the 7-5-9 YO) gets Space Invaders. I play for a few minutes, die (in the game, duh) and leave. Normally this would be a boring story that I would bring to life with an amusing little anecdote or insight. Unfortunately, this isn’t one of those times.
The first video game ever.
Phil Kays’ house gets Atari. This would be more significant if I ever got see my cousin more than once a month. He lived in New Jersey and since it was a ten-cent toll to cross the bridge (both ways!), it just wasn’t fiscally sound for me to visit that often. It looked cool though.
The 1980’s..
Is your band all women? All men? Nobody knew!
My family’s bar and restaurant gets Ms. Pacman. This is significant for two reasons: I learn a valuable lesson about money and make the first of many wrong choices in my life.
Did you know that technically, Ms. Pac-Man was an illegal spin-off? Look it up.
1) I find out that video games cost money! A quarter doesn’t seem like much until you discover that when you suck at video games this equals $15 an hour. At this time, I was bringing in about $30 a week plus whatever I could steal from my father’s change ashtray without him noticing. Needless to say, I was constantly out of money and had to shamelessly beg for it from my parents. Couple this with the fact that I was just beginning to drive and needed money for gas (Dad’s change ashtray took a beating on that one also!) and let’s just say that I am lucky to be alive today after all that teenage whining. I sometime wish I could go back in time to beat up that afro-headed, zit-faced, 118 pound, smart ass, shit for brains kid and make him save his money. With the current interest rates, I would have approximately 1 zillion dollars and would not have to depend on the kindness of strangers to survive. This of course is an estimate; your actual results may vary. See your local dealer for details.
2) I find out what a great predictor of the future that I am! During this period, we also have a pinball machine in our bar. I decide that pinball is the wave of the future (even though it’s been around since the 1930’s) and play that in an effort to save some of the limited funds that I had so painstakingly pilfered from the aforementioned bottomless ashtray. I think we all know how the pinball vs. video game thing worked out, so I’ll just jump right to the point.
This is the game he spent his dad’s change on.
My foresight can be summed up with this purchase made in 1982 at TV discounters: (1) Sanyo Betamax VCR and (1) RCA Color TV. 
Raise your hand if you’ve seen one before. If your hand is up, put it back down, you liar.
I worked for an industrial chimney cleaning service carrying 5-gallon wire handled buckets of slag every day for an entire summer to make this purchase. Within 5 years the Beta machines (motto: We’re better but people are stupid!) were all but gone, but I think the TV was even more significant. With a flash of unbelievable foresight, I decide to save $20 and buy the TV without the remote control, because who the hell would be so lazy that they couldn’t get up to change the channel. I can’t even begin to describe the self-loathing that I felt each time I had to get off my chair (or bed or floor depending on my current state of inebriation) just to change the channel or volume just because I was such a short-sighted cheapass …. Did I also mention that I gave my personal computer to my brother (now a vice president of a local company because of his computer prowess) because it was useless and boring? (he’s also thinner and better looking than me now and I hate him for it).
During this time I actually did pick one video game to master. It was called Astro-Blaster. It was much more exciting than Donkey Kong or Pac-Man or even Frogger. I played that for months and even won a genuine sheepskin steering wheel cover for my 1974 Plymouth Valiant (motto: This is your grandfather’s automobile!) during a contest at the local video arcade because of my proficiency at it. Do you remember it? Of course you don’t. Nobody does. Not that I’m bitter about it or anything.
I had legitimately never heard about this game before reading this.
The 1990’s
Hello hello hello hello hello hello hello hello hello hello hello hello hello hello hello hello hello hello hello hello hello hello
Sometime during the 1980’s (probably more earlier than later) I discovered beer. Not that it has a lot to do with video games, but since when do I stick the subject? The significance of beer lies in the fact that I would rather drink it than play a video game, nothing more. During this period, I also competed in PaPa 5 (The world pinball championship), but much to my chagrin I can’t find a way to make it fit in this article. I would also like to mention “Hershey Highway” but this is even more off the subject, so I won’t include it here. The one really significant event of the 1990’s that actually has something to do with video games is the birth of my son. 
The start of an era. (Yes that is actually me)
If you have a child who was born in the 1990’s and don’t think this has anything to do with video games then you need to move out of your “Unabomber” style cabin in Minnesota or Montana (like there’s a difference) and join the real world. We (Wii) parents are the true victims of this phenomenon, but more on that later!
To be continued…….
So there you go! I hope you enjoyed Part 1 of DadKro’s saga. This one might not have been as funny as the future will be, but it certainly gives you a good look at his writing style and sets the stage for the all important future parts.
My next post should be coming sometime soon, and it’ll actually be a normal serious post by me from this year. I’m going to be analyzing a comedy song to figure out not only why it’s funny, but also how it’s a lot smarter than it lets on. Any guesses?
Thanks again for reading everyone! I’d really appreciate it if you took the time to post a comment or tell your friends about this blog. I’ve been enjoying the start of this, so I really want to share my work with others. A follow of any sort would be appreciated, either through e-mail or WordPress itself! Not required at all, but just letting you know my appreciation. As always, feel free to use the Contact link to ask any questions, voice concerns, or send any recommendations my way. If you’re interested in reading my last post about how a corny action movie made me think about the future, check out Demolition Man: How Will the Future Remember Us?
~Jer
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